He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
