OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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