Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
