Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
