I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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