that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
