remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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