Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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