Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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