She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
