I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
