my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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