Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
