there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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