even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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