The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Buhtt sex?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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