Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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