so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
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Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
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Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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