dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We are two peas in an std pod
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
