God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
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he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
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Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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