dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
