Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize