she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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