Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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