What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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