I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
