What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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