He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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