bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
