she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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