I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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