I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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