And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
