I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
