Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You were trust falling into bushes
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
