I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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