Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Screwed.edu
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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