i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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