Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize