I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
