He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
