I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
