so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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