I wannas sexs uuuuu
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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