She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize