if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
