A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
