The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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