I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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