Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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