we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
