fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
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by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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