i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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