Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
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Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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