So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
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He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
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He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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