i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize