just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
