porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
from now on my penis is your penis
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
